It doesn't matter
by onelildustbunni
Summary: Ultimate X-men universe. Wolverine gets Rogue pregnant, and has to deal-- but will she have him? Warning- contains a relationship with a minor (17). Where I'm from, 16 is the legal age, so no flames please! Also note that the pairing is Wolverine and Rogu
1. Default Chapter

**It doesn't matter**

_Alison Krauss & Union Station_

It doesn't matter what I want  
It doesn't matter what I need  
It doesn't matter if I cry  
Don't matter if I bleed  
You've been on a road  
Don't know where it goes or where it leads

It doesn't matter what I want  
It doesn't matter what I need  
If you've made up your mind to go  
I won't beg you to stay  
You've been in a cage  
Throw you to the wind you fly away

It doesn't matter what I want  
It doesn't matter what I need  
It doesn't matter if I cry  
Don't matter if I bleed  
Feel the sting of tears  
Falling on this face you've loved for years

**Universe: **Ultimate X-men

**Pairing: **Wolverine + Rogue

**Genre: **Angst, romance (don't worry, it's not all sad! ;)

A**uthor's note: **Based on the song It doesn't matter from Alison Krauss & Union Station. Enjoy! 

**Disclaimer: **Disclaimers are ridiculous. Marvel is silly to sue fan boys (and fan girls like me) for imagining things about our favorite characters. I'm making no money off this; it's only a little inspired fancy that I wish to share with others, for fun. Also, by reading this you agree that the author (me) cannot be held responsible for any nausea, vomiting, seizures, or other physical injury obtained by reading this story! 

**Song disclaimer: **It doesn't matter is performed by Alison Krauss & Union Station. I do not claim or have ever claimed to own this song. I'm just putting the lyrics to set a mood for my story.

**Apology: **Life is busy! I'll eventually get around to fixing my other stories; my style has changed a bit since I wrote them. It's still the same old good LiLRoGuE stuff, though. Want to discuss my story? You can IM me on AIM at greenshug26. I'm on, 24/7 (if I don't answer, I may be sleeping or away, so pre-forgive me! )

**Reticulating Splines…** ok too much Sims for me!

**+ 1 +**

**M**arian gasped at the heavy, sudden pounding on her door. She'd just finished reading a sentence about a psychotic killer creeping through the hallway at night, ever stealthily sneaking up on his victim.

After taking a moment to let her heart settle down, she got up and made her way across the plush, thick Persian rug that adorned the polished wooden floor of her room in the Xavier institute. Reaching the door, she twisted the knob with a quick movement, opening it before her guest could bring his hand down from the panel.

"You _threatenin' _me?" she asked playfully, waving a finger at Logan, who gave her a small smirk.

"Hey, if you don't want a guy to make moves, don't dress like that," he replied, leaning towards her and staring down her top. She smacked him on the forehead, and as he made a grunt in pain, she stepped aside to let him in, which he didrubbing his head all the while.

"That hurt," he whined.

"If you don't want me to react, then stop being an asshole," Marian quipped saucily, wrapping her arms around his waist and giving him a grin. Logan pulled her closer and responded with a kiss that made her dizzy and breathless.

"Up for it?" he asked, nuzzling her neck. Marian fingered his belt and suppressed a giggle at the sensation. She'd always had an overly sensitive neck, and Logan—seemingly instinctively—knew just where the ticklish spots were.

"Always," she replied, her fingers sliding into his jeans.

Somewhere during the night, Marian's hand encountered an empty pillow beside her. For a moment, her heart went cold. Time stood still as her fingers slowly recognized the feeling of a somewhat crumpled note lying in the middle of his body imprint.

She sat up, slowly rubbing her eyes—delaying the inevitable. She _hated _these sorts of mornings with a passion; yet somehow, she always knew during the night.

Something about his eyes told her that he would be gone in the morning; a sort of wincing, pained quality showing in his face. Marian didn't really feel anger at him, she knew he didn't like hurting her like this. But he didn't like to say goodbye; and he didn't seem to care enough to stay. He just preferred to slip out in the early hours.

_Marie, the_ letter said. In her frozen calm, she barely smiled at the endearing nickname. _Sorry, but I got a new lead from Chuckles. Gone fishing for info again. Be back sometime soon, I hope. Had a good time, thanks. _

_-L_

"A good time," she repeated, the words seeming to echo in her head. "Is that all I am to you? A good time? A hayseed that's easy to sow?"

Crumpling the letter, she threw it violently at the garbage can.

"Asshole," she sobbed. She was suddenly sick and barely made it to her little tiled washroom before she 'tossed her cookies', as she would say. Gripping the edges of the toilet bowl, she stared blankly at the hinges of the seat, face hardening in anger. The porcelain cracked slightly under her firm grasp.

"Never again," she swore.

* * *

Despite her promise to herself, she found that she often drifted between classes to Logan's room. His sheets still smelled like him; and the drawers and closet still held a few personal effects. To her disgust, she found he kept a stash of dirty magazines (along with suspicious-looking hand lotion) in the table beside his bed. Digging further, she located a mysterious odor; but could not find its source. It made her want to throw up every time she got a whiff of it; yet time and time again she returned.

As the weeks passed, her frozen feeling grew stronger. She tried to ignore the possibility that he wouldn't return. He'd told her so, hadn't he? He'd written it down, yes. She had retrieved the note rom the trash and, smoothing it out, put it between the leaves of her diary.

The other X-men (mainly Jean, Scott and Xavier) began to worry about their teammate and friend. Rogue ate very little now, and Jean was beginning to suspect she was bulimic, as she found hints that she threw up almost everything she did eat. The gaunt look in Rogue's eyes alarmed her.

* * *

One evening Jean knocked on the door, alarmed by the sound of Rogue sobbing. Granted, it wasn't unusual for her to sniffle—but as a proud point, the girl never admitted to downright crying. Something must be wrong.

"You ok, Rogue?" the telepath asked, opening the door and leaning in slightly.

"Mmhmm," Marian said, looking out the window with red-rimmed eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jean moved to the bed and put an encouraging, if somewhat hesitant, hand on Rogue's shoulder. Even though the girl was very adept at controlling her skin-sucking sucking abilities, Jean still feared to be close should she lash out. Rogue was unnaturally strong due from permanently absorbing the powers of a super heroine from the Ultimates during her time with the Brotherhood.

"I'm in serious shit," she whispered, cuddling her knee to her chin.

Jean was silent, waiting for her to continue. Whatever it was, it was major. She was projecting strong anxiety and despair even through Jean's strongly constructed mental and emotional shields, so much that the telepath herself began to feel edgy.

"Oh, Ah-II don't know what to do," she blurted. "I'm pregnant."

Jean felt stunned.

"Are you sure? You didn't do the test wrong?"

"No," Marian said softly. "I asked Hank to check me out. Something was wrong, I couldn't keep anythin' down. And…."

The telepath leaned back. Now she understoodor thought she didhow serious the situation was.

"Who's the father?"

Marian looked down and mumbled something. Jean frowned. She thought she'd heard—but that couldn't be right, could it? "Mind repeating?" she asked.

"Wolverine," Marian said. There was complete silence.

Then…

"I'm going to kill him," Jean said, a strange glow lighting in her eyes. "How **dare **he **use **innocent children for his purposes? Charles will make him leave—"

"Ah'm not a child," Marian snapped. "Ah knew what ah was doing." Her voice took on a southern lilt in her righteousness. "Ah'm 17, and ah'm about to be a mother. Shit."

Jean sighed.

"Have you considered abortion?"

"No!" Marian squeaked. "That's murder. Ah can't do that, hurt an innocent child." Jean did not comment that Marian had already hurt quite a few people with her powers.

"You could put it up for adoption."

Marian sniffled.

"Ah don't know. Ah'll have to think about it."

"Surely you don't plan on keeping it?" Jean asked, incredulously. "A single, young, _mutant _mother, alone with a tiny baby? Are you insane?"

"No," Marian said, somewhat insulted. "Ah'mI'm sure that Logan will take responsibility. I mean, it's half his, too. He may be an asshole but he's not a complete jerk, you know."

"He is too," Jean replied coldly. "Don't kid yourself, Logan won't stay with a child like you. He's not about to tie himself down to a family life. He's more likely to take up priesthood."

Marian remained silent, rocking slightly back and forth. Jean sighed and patted her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Rogue. I just haven't forgiven him yet for what he tried to do to Scott. As much as it kills me to admit it, Logan _does_ have some good qualities. He is, as you said, honorable. And I think that he can be kind, at times." Jean smirked. "That's all I'll say for him."

With that, Jean said goodnight and left Marian to ponder her situation.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**_Author's note: _**Forgive me if you catch little spacing errors or weird repeated words. seems to be a pain with that sort of stuffI had to re-create the story 4 times before it displayed it in a less retarded format. Trust me, this really looks lovely on my Microsoft Word...I'll probably put it up on a website eventually so you can read it without the FFretard stuff! 8D

* * *

**+ 2 +**

_Earlier **that** day…_

**S**lipping out of bed, Logan felt guilty. The note he'd dropped on his empty place seemed to lack something, but he didn't know what it was yet. Marian looked so peaceful, lying just where he'd left her. He knew it hurt her every time he left. But he had to know.

He got dressed quietly by the dim moonlight. Logan liked to leave early, before anyone could catch him. Shrugging on his jacket, he moved to the bed and pressed a light kiss to Marian's smooth brow before making his way to the door. With a last backwards glance, he opened it and left.

* * *

It felt good to be out on the road again. Logan could hardly wait to hit the highway before letting his thumb press the overload switch of his bike. The rush of speed and power plastered an almost permanent grin on his face. That, and the thought that he might find out some…stuff.

He didn't really know why the lack of a past bothered him so much. Before the X-men, he'd been curious…but he hadn't really actively sought it out. Something had happened after that, something that made him want to know who he was. _What _he was.

This new lead looked promising. Good ol' Chuckles Xavier had actually managed to get insight into a Weapon X project file, and had found some information on exactly _which _cell had captured him, originally. There was a good chance that some of his original files still existed there…assuming they hadn't burnt the place down before vacating.

Around noon, Logan noticed that he was low on fuel. Come to think of it, he was also hungry. Eventually he pulled over at traveler's stop and took a 'piss' on the side of the building before paying for his fuel. He didn't notice that he hadn't washed his hands before handling the money; he didn't give much care towards being sanitary.

For food, he debated catching a rabbit and eating it; but for some reason the thought of what Marian would say—rather, yell—stopped him. He scowled at the thought that he was beginning to care too much about what others thought about him; maybe it was time to leave the mansion permanently.

He settled instead on some sandwiches from the convenience store, and ate them in thoughtful silence beside his bike. Over time, he'd learned to somewhat repress his gag reflex in order to eat. He'd even grown used to it being on constantly; it was unavoidable due to his painfully sharp senses; and living in a mansion full of smelly teenagers did not improve circumstances.

Perhaps he should think more about leaving. He watched a bird a few miles off as it ate a worm, sort of zooming in on it. Why had he stayed so long? He usually didn't form ties. They could just be used as another form of blackmail, in his instance. Oh sure, it was fine to bond with fellow criminals, or hookers off the street—but deep down, he didn't care what happened to them. He could watch them be tortured, and feel nothing for them. After what he'd been through, he didn't give a shit about other people's pain.

But then there was Marian. She'd done some pretty terrible things herself, but nothing nearly as bad as he had. For instance, she'd never killed anyone; she had mostly participated in recon missions in her time with the Brotherhood. Unlike himself, who had begun to feel like a killer whore, offering his freelance services for a price.

When he thought of her, sleeping at the mansion with the youthful face still untouched by time, he felt peaceful. Nothing else really made him feel emotion. The only time he'd truly laughed was at some stupid things she had told him, and the sight of her blood inspired panic in him. He'd found himself insisting she touch him for a small bloody nose obtained in the Danger Room. Another thing was the note he left in his absence. Since when had he started leaving apologies in his place? He'd always found it easy to take off before. He liked to think he was saving them the trouble of his dangerous presence. And here he was feeling guilty for leaving a kid with punk hair alone for a few nights. Really, it was definitely time to move on.

He crumpled up the sandwich wrapper and threw it on the ground, but then his conscience—who seemed to take the voice of Marian—got to him. After staring at it for a few seconds, he picked it up and actually took it to the garbage bin. Feeling stupid, he violently ripped open the lid and hurled into the container.

"Pussy whipped," he sneered aloud.

* * *

His motel of choice was a dingy roadside affair, complete with cockroaches and scuttling mice. Although Xavier had offered him four kinds of metallic credit cards, Logan chose to use his own small funds for lodging. It reminded him of the 'good old days', in which he was just a run down guy who did assignations for rent, and made his hookers and occasional bar girls scream.

Gladly he buried his face in the grimy sheets, and felt a sense of satisfaction. This was a far cry from the immaculately pressed bed clothes of the Xavier mansion; he hated the fact that the sheets their even seemed to have ironed pleats. After a second, he turned the TV ononly to find that the porn was pay-per-view. "The fuck," he hissed, releasing a claw and preparing to go find the owner of this place.

Then he remembered what Marian had said about hurting people. It was bad, it was wrong, and he was not to do it anymore. Sighing, he retracted the weapon and grabbed his face with his hands, groaning into them and giving a dry sob. It would be so easy if it was actually Marian that was bugging himhe'd just kill her. But she seemed to be inside his head—or maybe, just maybe, she was in his heart. His cold, long dead heart.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note (explanation): **_Although this has been placed in the X-men category, this story actually takes place in the **Ultimate** X-men universe, which is different from '616' or the main universe. In it, all the X-men are younger, and, believe it or not, Logan is actually as much of an asshole as I write him here! He tried to kill Scott by dropping him off a cliff; he initially joined the X-men as an undercover assassin trying to kill Xavier. While I agree that the real 616 Logan is not this much of an asshole (and grasps the concept of honor), Ultimate Logan does not. Just be patient and read the story...redemption is the key word here. Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em comin! **8D**

**+ 3 +**

_Back to the present..._

**M**arian grunted as she struggled to open a can of mayonnaise. She wanted this salmon-slash-chicken sandwich. Badly. And she'd do anything to get it, including kill anyone standing in her way, or so she felt at the moment. Her nausea had left as suddenly as it had come, and she had moved into the 'craving' stages of her pregnancy. Even Marian was sometimes grossed out by the things she desired to eat, but she had begun to think that perhaps the baby was getting Logan's appetite. Especially so since the day it had wanted uncooked steak.

"Hey Rogue," Bobby said as he entered the kitchen. "How's the baby?"

Rolling her eyes, Marian pushed a little beyond the normal strength quota, and the can opened as if it had been lined with butter. She examined the bottle but found no evidence of cracks or other destruction. _Xavier was right, _she thought with a small smile. _My control **is **improving._

"Everyone asks that nowadays," she said, a scornful tone to her voice.

Bobby held up his hands.

"Okay, sheesh, I was just asking. No need to be so _rude. _God, it wouldn't happen to be that time of the month, would it?"

Marian sighed.

"Bobby, you retard. Baby, remember?"

This was too much for the young X-man, and he grabbed a freezer popsicle and left, scowling at Marian all the while. The said Marian laughed, and wondered how she could have ever been attracted to him, even in the slightest. Only now did she notice that he looked like a monkey when he pouted.

* * *

Her evenings were spent in Logan's room, curled up by his window and waiting for him to return. She had found a jacket of his in the closet and had taken to wearing it during these times. She brought her X-communicator with her a few times, and thumbed it, pondering if she should call him or not. She knew he wanted his privacy when he went on these excursions, but she liked to think that she wouldn't be a bother to him.

One night, the phone beside his bed rang. Her heart stopped, because she knew that the phone was hooked up to a private line only used by Wolverine when, for some reason or other, he could not use the communicators. Each X-man had one of their own. She jumped at it and answered before Charles could.

"Xavier's institute, Rogue speaking," she said, barely hearing her own voice.

There was heavy breathing on the other end, then Logan cleared his throat.

"Uh, hi, sweetheart. Can you put me through to Chuck? "

Marian's eyes stung faintly.

"Yeah, yeah. Hold on."

She pressed a button to page him through, then she heard a loud crunch. She realized that she had unintentionally crushed the phone's receiver to a fine powder. Angrily she threw the unit to the side and then curled up on his bed for a while, nursing her feelings.

"Men," she said angrily.

Just then, she felt her stomach give a kick.

Marian stopped crying in wonder. This was the first time she'd felt any movement in her tiny bulging belly. It was so small, even five months along, that most people did not guess that she was pregnant. She hadn't even had to buy any new clothing except for a new pair of petite jeans, two sizes bigger.

"Do you agree with me?" she asked to the small life inside her. "Aww, I bet you think your daddy is a very bad man, too." She leaned back on the pillows and for the first time in her life, had an argument with only herself.

* * *

Logan put down the phone and breathed in through his nose.

They were after him again. He felt it in his metal-coated bones. They had some crazy new idea of how to torture his body, which would withstand anything because it would heal. Maybe he should have asked Chuckles to teach him how to turn the damn thing off.

At least he'd have some help from the little X-geeks, although that didn't reassure him much. He preferred not to get them involved with this sort of stuff, because Weapon X could easily capture them, too. They had proved that once before.

Something tickled the back of his head. He realized that it had been Marian who had answered the phone, although he hadn't noticed at the time. She had been in his room? He frowned, and looked down at the phone. There had been a weird noise when she paged him through, a sort of muffled crunch. It reminded him of the time she'd broken the phone when her order from Victoria's secret had accidentally gone to Hank's room.

With a shrug, he left the booth to blend in with the street.

* * *


End file.
